Man of the Hour

Quick hits tonight because I'm tired, but I figured I should post:

1 - The deacon at my church used the phrase "Hell in a handbasket" during his sermon (a deacon is an assistant priest), which is so weird. I never thought I'd hear that phrase at church, so imagine my surprise when he dropped that line. The context of that sentence was describing what Jesus wouldn't do to humanity, but still...hell in a handbasket??? I thought that was rather un-church like.

2 - The first place that I liked and thought about making an offer on is off the market. Evidentally, someone beat me to the punch. Oh well, I guess it wasn't meant to be. I seem to be saying that all the time lately.

3 - I did see a pair of places that I'm still interested in, which bodes well. One is about 10 minutes from where I live now and the other is more of a 40 minute drive. Right now, I'm leaning towards the closer one, but that may change. I'll keep you all (or y'all, to all of my loyal ATX readers) posted.

4 - I'm going to go see V for Vendetta tomorrow, if I can get everyone else to go. I'm rather excited by this movie and I don't know why. I mean, the previews weren't that great. But I read an article somewhere that talked about how good the movie was and for whatever reason, I'm pumped. It must be Hugo Weaving. That man may lack hair, but he can act.

5 - My friend Bryan told me that I've fallen into the habit of using the phrase "you would." I picked that up from a girl that I "dated" for a very short period of time and I guess I've been saying it to him a lot lately because he started bugging me about it this weekend. And the only responce I can think of is....he would. Happy days my friends, happy days.

Something funny

Whilst driving home from work tonight, I witnessed something unusual. The Village of Lombard, where my job is located, has just updated some of the traffic signals to include the little countdown thing to warn walkers of their impending doom. Anyway, I'm not sure if Lombard had defective ones or if the person installing it was plucked straight from a bar stool. For whatever reason, the countdowns were actually on different times (i.e. - 12 on the left side of the street, 10 on the right). Which is rather stupid because the light changes both ways at the same time. I guess the installer looked at it and said "eh, who gives a !@#$" and proceeded directly back down the street to McGill's for a pint.

The other funny thing that happened today (courtesy of my co-worker Jackie) is that a sculpture of Mrs. Britney Spears appeared in Brooklyn today. She is evidently sitting on bear-skinned rug, giving birth to her child. The really horrible thing about all of this is that someone from the pro-life camp claimed that Mrs. Spears was an inspiration to people everywhere for her having and raising her child. Uhhh, what??? Is she supposed to be teaching kids that it's ok to get pregnant, so long as you have the kid? What type of crap is that? I guess this is today's sign of the apocalypse.

I don't know why...

Evidently, my blog has decided to play hide and go-seek. I'm not sure the logic behind this, but it seems to be happening. Thanks Blogger!

Ar Poc Ar Bulle

I wanted to throw something up before I went to bed for the evening. I went to see an Irish band called Gaelic Storm this weekend and they were pretty good. This is the second year in a row that I've seen them on St. Patrick's Day and they trotted out some of the same lines as last year, the best of which was a variety of versions of their most famous song, Johnny Tarr. That one's a good ol' fashioned drinking song. I'd strongly suggest that anyone who wants to hear good Irish pop music listen to this band. They've got some good stuff. Anyway, the balance was off with the band for the first half of the show, which kind of sucked, but they finally got it fixed over the break and the show picked up some steam from there. Overall, I'd say it was a B type of performance. They were missing a guy from the last time there were here, so maybe that was the difference.

My sister Meghan has been stealing DVDs from me. I know it. She doesn't ask, she just grabs them and I notice they're missing a few days later. That bugs me.

Checked out a couple of places today with my buddy Bryan. Saw two of them I think I'd like to buy but there's still going to be a couple more days of looking before I'm ready to offer anything. I'll keep you all informed of any actions that take place in the future.

Tonight, I'm running wild. I'm running. Tonight, I'm running wild.

When your mind is a mess, so is mine...

"When your mind is a mess, so is mine, I can't sleep.
Because it hurts when I think when my thoughts aren't at peace
With the plans that we make and the chances we take.
They're not yours, they're not mine.
There's waves that can break
All the words that we said and the words that we mean
And the words can fall short, can't see the unseen
Because the world is awake so for somebody's sake
Now please close your eyes, woman, please get some sleep."

- No Other Way - Jack Johnson

For whatever reason, this song was in my head all day, so I figured I'd plant the first lyric down on paper and leave it to you. It's not nearly as catchy as writing the words from a commercial (Oooh, baby baby!) but it will probably work for the time being.

Every time I think I understand people, there's something that happens or gets said that makes me take a step back and realize that I know so very little. Almost like a constant reality check. There's just so much out there and there are days when I think I've figured it all out. And I'm just so very wrong. I'm not sure if that's arrogance, to think that I can actually comprehend another person. Probably is. I think that I've got some arrogance in me and it scares me because I'm not sure how to fight it. I hate arrogance and I know that hate is an incredibly strong word, but I cannot begin to describe my loathing for people who lord things over the "less fortunate." Mostly, it's all bull. And every once in a while, I realize that I've been acting in such a way that it comes off as arrogance, which shames me. I'm not sure why this happens. It's probably just my ego.

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Well, the madness begins tomorrow. It's not nearly as exciting to me right now as it should be. Maybe being around that Mizzou team that made the Sweet 16 has changed my perspective on the issue and maybe it's just the sports journalism the dragged me down. Perhaps it's even the fact that White Sox won the World Series, which was totally foreign to me. I definently wasn't expecting that (as Caleb can attest) and I'm not sure what to make out of it yet. I mean, it was great and I've never been as happy as a sportsfan in my life (the 1985 Bears happened before I really knew what was going on and the Bulls won too much. Plus, I've never been a NBA freak, but anyway, I digress), but mostly it made me think of my grandpa and how much I missed having him there for that last game. I ended up watching it with my dad (he's a Cubs fan) until he went to bed and the euphoria of winning a world series trophy wasn't really there. It was a mix of bliss and sadness. Why couldn't it have happened 3 years ago when my grandpa was here? While the NFL is by far the best professional sports league (easy to follow, not nearly as devoted as a baseball season), my love of sports started with my grandpa taking me to Sox games and my connect to that team is really a connection to him. And even though they actually won the series, I felt like something wasn't really there any more. I'd give it away for another day with him. Without a doubt.

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That's all for tonight. Dan Young Theatre's is presenting Spiderman in about 10 minutes and I have to make sure the reels get changed correctly.

"And know that if I knew all of the answers, I would not withhold them from you.

All of the things that I know, we told each other, there is no other way..."

NFL rambling

Stupid Bears. Why on Earth did they bother to offer Randel El a contract when they knew Washington was involved. The Bears wanted to give him a 6 years, $18 million dollar deal. Washington ponied up $31 million over the same term. Hmmm, which would you choose?

John-John Javon Walker won't play for the Packers any more, which means that the Bears should give up anything that Green Bay wants to get him. I don't care what it takes, the Bears desperately need help at WR. First rounder, Muhsin Muhammad, whatever. I don't care. Just make it happen. Walker is one of the top WR in the NFL. Or he was. With the knee injury, he should come at a cheaper price. With that in mind, maybe the Bears will actually go out and do something. There's only so many times I can watch Justin Gage drop an open pass. Then again, it does look nice to see the 12-Gage back in action. Ahh, the Mizzou memories. I even remember when he could catch the ball... alas.

Looks like hell outside and it's supposed to snow in a couple of days. I was thinking about going for a run today. I guess we'll see how it shakes down.

Tell the Repo man and the stars above...

An Update, eh D. Pursch? I can do that man. I've been living at home with my parents since I got out of school, mostly because I've never wanted to rent an apartment. I've spent my time working at a menial job, saving money and preparing to buy a house/condo/townhome. That's where my mind is at the moment. There's a whole lot more to it than I thought, which is strange considering that I started with the bank working in the mortgage department. After I finish buying the house and moving in and all that jazz, I'm going to try to figure out what I want to do with my life. I'm not sure where that will lead, only that I know I can't keep doing what I'm doing know and stay sane. I've thought about writing a book and seeing if I can make it that way, but I always change plots when I'm in the middle, so nothing concrete there. I interviewed for a couple of different journalism jobs but I've realized that my heart was never really there with journalism. I love knowing and I always enjoyed interviewing but the negativity of the newsroom drove me away. I lost touch with who I was for a while...thanks Mo'ian! I tend to spend my evening writing and thinking about music and sports. I've been playing more cards, reading more books and drinking a little bit of beer here and there (hurrah, eh Matt?). They have this product up here that you might not have seen. It's called Miller Light. Or Miller Lite? I'm not entirely sure, but it's pretty good. You should give it a try if you ever see it at a bar. Still not much of a drinker, but I'll knock back a few every now and again. I guess it makes me a little more tolerable. :) Anyway, that's pretty much the nuts and bolts of it. Made a couple of trips out to Vegas and Mexico. I guess I've been floating along, just kind of relaxing through the last few years. I'd like to travel some more and see the world, but it's all so expensive and I have no one to go with. And I think I'm at a point in my life where I know that I need to do something that moves me. As for what that is, I don't know. But I think I'm there.

I've fallen in love with the whole singer/songwriter category, or at least a couple that I've been listening to lately. I spent some time with Johnny Cash (thanks Walk the Line) and moved into Life in Slow Motion, David Grey's latest CD. That's one fantastic record, from front to back. Just fantastic. I don't think I could praise it any more. Grabbed some Jack Johnson (stoner music, but good stuff) and then watched a program with my dad about Jim Croce. He's got some incredible songs. My dad recommended Leo Kottke and I'm still working on his stuff. But still, a lot of acoustic stuff. I guess it's something for a boy with a guitar to dream about, right? Lastly, an ex gave me a Teitur CD, Poetry & Airplanes. Another great disc.

I suppose that's everything. I'm sure that music graph means very little to some of you out there, but it's a big part of what I've been doing, so I figured I'd share. Feel free to skip over it if you'd like.

"You tell me that it's evolution, well, you know. We all want to change the world."

Good night.

Just what I'm seeking?

I just received an email from a realtor. I'm not sure whether I'm happy with this or scared. I mean, it's something that I've been wanting to do and I could never bring myself to rent, but still. This is a huge step. I'd be committed to living in a place (perhaps not a place where you need to be committed to get there, but never-the-less, I digress...) for at least the next 5 years of my life. And I know that I want to do this but I'm afraid that I'll make the wrong decision. There's a lot at stake right now and I really want to get it right. Which leads to the realtor. I know that I need help with this and I also know that I'm a cheap b@st@rd at times. So which do I choose? My parents are trying to get me to do everything on my own, but I don't feel completely comfortable with that approach right now. There's so much to know and I don't know enough. While they're ready and willing to help, I can't make myself go just on what they say. I know I should but I just don't know. It's tough.

Anyway, when Chez Young opens, you're all welcome to come spend the night. I know it probably won't mean much to most of you, but the door is always open and I'm sure we'll find room on a couch or something. :) Free lodging in Chi-town. Whatever that does for you.

Really short post for tonight because I've got some other stuff to do before I go to sleep. Had a very strange day at work. It's always weird when you want to talk to somebody but you know that there's nothing you can do. It's almost paralyzing. Maybe it's just my lack of guts. I think I share more with Casey McCall than I rather like. And that's really all I'm going to say about that.

Book of the month recommendation - It's old and I'm not sure that anybody will actually care, but I picked up A Good Walk Spoiled by John Feinstein. Almost like an in-depth background about golfers before the Tiger Woods era, which is pretty interesting. It's right during the cusp of the dramatic change in golf from the Old School Era (The Arnie, Golden Bear, Shark era) to the modern era, which definently provides all kinds of story angles. But it's the guys you don't know of (unless you actually watch golf on TV, which is rather sad) that really pull the book off and make it a worthwhile read. I've heard that Feinstein never came close to writing another one this good, so if it is lightning in a bottle, then shock me. It was worth it.

It breaks my head every time it leads me on...

I'm not really sure why I'm doing this again except that I guess I wanted to start recording my thoughts in some sort of daily journal. I've been listening to a lot of music and reading other people's ideas and I think that I won't make a complete and utter fool of myself this time. But only time can tell.

Mostly, I started writing tonight because I've heard a Five for Fighting song. And despite some of my friends compete hatred for that band, the song actually meant something to me. It actually touched me, not in some stupid pop sort of way, but rather with a sense of this means something. I'm still in shock that music can do this to me. After spending so much time sitting in my room listening to it, figuring out chords and how they fit together and meeting people who know so much more than I ever will about music, I figured I was immune to the way things were written. Especially newer music, which I tend to think of as rubbish more often than not. I'm sure that most people don't share that opinion, but I, for the most part, can't stand the new music on the radio. In fact, I don't listen to the radio any more. I hardly buy new CDs. Which is why I surprised myself when I purchased The Battle for Everything, the FIF Cd. I gave it a couple of listens before putting it aside, never really putting much thought into it. But I happened to catch If God Made You on the suffle of the mp3 player and I listened to it again. I'm not sure if it was just the timing of the situation meshing with things I was feeling in my life, but I just felt moved. Like the words connected perfectly to the emotions that I was going through at the time, despite the fact that there really isn't one person in my life that I'm in love with and the song is a love song. I'm not really sure why it fits with me, but I felt more complete. And I've been listening to it a lot for the last week or so when I felt like I had to put something into words. I don't feel like I'm doing the feeling justice, by any means, but it had to be out there.

So yeah, I guess I'm going to keep this going for a while and hopefully it will help me get over the feeling that I'm wasting something. I have so much that should make me happy, but I look at the lifes of some of the people I knew and it feels like I don't accomplish anything. And I know it's not because they're out there doing more things than I am because I've never really cared about being that person out there all the time. I just feel like they've all moved onto something newer and better and I've been left behind. My friends here are great but they're busy with their lives and I spend a lot of my time wondering what I'm doing with my life. And I read a comment by someone that I used to have a crush on that looking into the past is for losers, which sort of makes sense and sort of crushes me at the same time. I realize now that things never would have worked out between said crushee and myself, but it still hurts me for some reason. I'm not really sure why that is. I guess I need to contemplate this more before I can answer that question. You, whomever may be reading this, are more than welcome to answer that question for me.