A Bed of California Stars

I was stood up yesterday and I still can't believe it. It's a strange sensation, that doubt that sits in my gut as I check the time and see that it's way past when she said she'd call, only I'm hoping there's an excuse, something to make it okay. It's not the first time I've been stood up and I'm sure I've been stood up by better people, but this one isn't going away like the last few have. Sometimes I just laugh and forgot about it and things move on the way they do. And while I was excited about seeing this girl, I'm also excited about playing softball with a girl that I've had a thing for, so I can't say that this was an end-all, be-all sort of moment. But I can't escape the feeling that there was something here and that I'm still all messed up about it. I know that I'm frustrated and I know that I can't understand the idea that it could possibly okay to just never call someone and let everything go. I'm sure there's a reason, something that makes people do that sort of thing, but I just can't wrap my head around it. If it's just that you don't want to see me, fine. Tell me that. I'll be okay with it. Seriously. I don't have to have a sugar-coated excuse that I'll see through in a second. It hurts less to know it than to hear nothing. That's the worst. And that's where I am. Still. It's been more than 24 hours now and I still haven't heard a peep from her. I want to say something but I know that I shouldn't, so I'm going to delete her phone number and walk away and hope things play out where I don't ever run into her again. And that's been my day.