When your mind is a mess, so is mine...

"When your mind is a mess, so is mine, I can't sleep.
Because it hurts when I think when my thoughts aren't at peace
With the plans that we make and the chances we take.
They're not yours, they're not mine.
There's waves that can break
All the words that we said and the words that we mean
And the words can fall short, can't see the unseen
Because the world is awake so for somebody's sake
Now please close your eyes, woman, please get some sleep."

- No Other Way - Jack Johnson

For whatever reason, this song was in my head all day, so I figured I'd plant the first lyric down on paper and leave it to you. It's not nearly as catchy as writing the words from a commercial (Oooh, baby baby!) but it will probably work for the time being.

Every time I think I understand people, there's something that happens or gets said that makes me take a step back and realize that I know so very little. Almost like a constant reality check. There's just so much out there and there are days when I think I've figured it all out. And I'm just so very wrong. I'm not sure if that's arrogance, to think that I can actually comprehend another person. Probably is. I think that I've got some arrogance in me and it scares me because I'm not sure how to fight it. I hate arrogance and I know that hate is an incredibly strong word, but I cannot begin to describe my loathing for people who lord things over the "less fortunate." Mostly, it's all bull. And every once in a while, I realize that I've been acting in such a way that it comes off as arrogance, which shames me. I'm not sure why this happens. It's probably just my ego.

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Well, the madness begins tomorrow. It's not nearly as exciting to me right now as it should be. Maybe being around that Mizzou team that made the Sweet 16 has changed my perspective on the issue and maybe it's just the sports journalism the dragged me down. Perhaps it's even the fact that White Sox won the World Series, which was totally foreign to me. I definently wasn't expecting that (as Caleb can attest) and I'm not sure what to make out of it yet. I mean, it was great and I've never been as happy as a sportsfan in my life (the 1985 Bears happened before I really knew what was going on and the Bulls won too much. Plus, I've never been a NBA freak, but anyway, I digress), but mostly it made me think of my grandpa and how much I missed having him there for that last game. I ended up watching it with my dad (he's a Cubs fan) until he went to bed and the euphoria of winning a world series trophy wasn't really there. It was a mix of bliss and sadness. Why couldn't it have happened 3 years ago when my grandpa was here? While the NFL is by far the best professional sports league (easy to follow, not nearly as devoted as a baseball season), my love of sports started with my grandpa taking me to Sox games and my connect to that team is really a connection to him. And even though they actually won the series, I felt like something wasn't really there any more. I'd give it away for another day with him. Without a doubt.

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That's all for tonight. Dan Young Theatre's is presenting Spiderman in about 10 minutes and I have to make sure the reels get changed correctly.

"And know that if I knew all of the answers, I would not withhold them from you.

All of the things that I know, we told each other, there is no other way..."