Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

I watched the above-mentioned movie for the second time tonight and for whatever reason, it struck me much harder this time than the first viewing. I really enjoyed it the first time around; I thought it was funny and interesting and I love the idea of being in love and the stories as they were deleted. But for whatever reason, I never really captured the depth of the movie until I saw it again. And maybe it's just the scariness of being in love and losing that feeling, becoming bored with someone because you're looking for someone new that really connected with me this time. I've been there before and I've seen the results of that feeling and I know that I never want to go through that again, yet I also feel like we're almost predestined to experience that idea from time to time. Think about how easy it is to lose yourself in something only to put it down for something new and never think about that old something again. God knows how horrible this idea is, yet it's something that I think is present in my life and it certainly seems like most Americans experience the same thing in their lives too. Just look at the divorce rate in this country and there can be no doubt that our culture is always looking for the next big thing, like whatever we've got isn't good enough. And it makes me cry a little bit, not only for the way our culture is falling into ruins (our country isn't that far behind) but because I know that I've done that before. And maybe it was just some stupid thing that I did when I was a young, impressionable teenager, a kid who just didn't know better. But I've hurt somebody who was really close to me with my carelessness and I managed to hurt myself along the way. And maybe this sadness that I try to hide inside myself is the result of the actions I took and the actions I should have.